And I really didn't know anything about the McDonalds. Back in 1994-- this is back in the days when people still delivered big news to each other by mail-- two women who barely knew each other, Martha Miller and Susan McDonald, got a letter from Martha's mom. While Bay and Daphne were supposed to be 15 at the time, Vanessa and Katie were 18 and 24, respectively. There were a few years there. It was a different way of living, one that she admires. She was nervous, studious, serious, but it didn't seem so strange in junior high. And of course, Marti didn't really call a whole lot. Where? And then he told me that I looked like them. Yes I did. Years later when she got the letter that told her the truth, she was stunned. Whatever it was a different life. That's what most people in town seemed to feel. So now we are both aware of what happened 43 years ago. And I was in the hallway. So it's a birthday present. And in the meantime, I had gotten phone calls from people I didn't even know that were telling me, you know, hey, I'm your brother. This is a videotape of that first meeting. I'm sorry. And he did, and he did. And at any point during this time, does it cross your mind? So we all we never said anything about it. It was really good for us to have her around. And he says, this is a nice little baby. Well, of course, they were really clamoring to get to know her. You know, I would I was just like, wow, you know, wow. Having two sets of parents and two full sets of siblings and cousins is kind of a practical headache. I promise you, I'll never try to make you think of me as your daughter. He was an odd strategy, if you can even call it that. I would say that Sue and I were probably not that close for whatever reason. And there were a lot of kids too. They decided that Ruth ought to have a look too. But it was just it took a while for us to. She wrote letters to her parents but didn't send them. Text. My mother didn't have enough milk for me. But the good part about that was when I got home from the wedding, and my brother called me, and he said, you know what? You know, so so then I thought, well, OK, then it's not so bad if she you know, she still believes she's my sister. Later that same day, Sue drove to the McDonalds', to the parents she'd grown up with. So the two girls cooked up a reconnaissance mission. All the Millers were invited and all the McDonalds were to Marty considered whether she should go. For one thing, she was the only one who joked around. And so while Seward figured everyone would choose Marty, the outgoing cheerleader, over her, it didn't work out that way. That's a big consideration. That could be her. I'm Ira Glass. It was confusing. And I said, I don't know. I thought I had a girl. I don't have any idea. Do let me hear from you. I mean, I knew that were things I couldn't do and. They understand what their relationship was like. He didn't dance with me. And I said, would you have believed me? It took an awful long time and I'm sorry for. It didn't bother me, because I couldn't see any merit to it. That's just how she is. In fact, my mother said, well, just don't tell anybody. That's how long it took her to sort out her feelings. I thought I was losing both of them. She she. They understand what their relationship was like. Actually, my mother wanted to go to court and have my name legally changed back to Sue McDonald and have Sue's name changed. They say they're not angry with her. She I did feel in the beginning like she was taking my place in my family, and that was odd, very odd, and sometimes I don't know exactly what her relationship is with my sisters. And it was then that I started thinking, oh, my gosh, my life would have been so different. The one-hour scripted drama is set in the Kansas City metropolitan area, and revolves around two teenagers who were switched at birth and grew up in very different environments: one in the affluent suburb of Mission Hills, Kansas, and the other in working-class East . Probably the Ladies Aid, maybe, you know, the little group that got together. And yeah, I think it might be. You know, I I honestly don't know how much they communicate, how much they're in touch. This summer, Bob McDonald's younger son got married in Prairie du Chien. Reverend Miller had once been pastor there, so he and Mrs. Miller were invited. This American Life is a weekly public radio show, heard by 2.2 million people on more than 500 stations. I don't even know who they are. this american life switched at birth transcript. That wasn't something that they would have done, because athletics was really not of value to them at all. I'm IRA Glass back next week with more stories. (6 1/2 minutes), If you enjoyed this episode, you may like these. The nurse weighed the baby and must have left her in the delivery room until after Kay's baby was born very soon after mine. And the purpose of this letter is that Mrs. Miller is breaking the news 43 years after the fact to Martha Insu that she took the wrong baby home from the hospital that Martha and was switched at birth, that she's not Martha's biological mom, she sues. That could be. And there are some awkward moments, like when Sue talks to Mrs. Miller about the fact that she never got enough breast milk as a baby. This episode, Switched at birth, is the episode they name. Later that same day, Sue drove to the McDonald's to the parents she'd grown up with. If you're ever curious as to what they were, I would be very willing to fill you in. Marty eventually decided that the only way she was going to resolve this was by getting on a plane and flying out to Wisconsin to meet the McDonald's face to face and give them a real chance to get to know her. And Susan always had said to me, Mom, why didn't you have any more children after I was born? That is why I wanted to write this letter. And and I'm really like that to. But Sue was the girl they'd brought up and they felt loyal to her, protective. What that meant was that after Chemical finally found out the truth in 1994, people started coming up to her in church, mostly casually mentioning that they'd known about it all along. The evening just ended up being kind of baffling for everyone involved, since only Mrs. Miller knew what was going on. My dad right there who looks happy. Kay is no longer angry the way she was, but she says she'll never understand why Mrs Miller stayed silent for all those years. The fact is, Mrs. Miller longed for Sue, for her biological daughter, ever since she realized the mistake back in 1951. Is my brother going to care to even see me anymore? This summer, Bob McDonald, younger son, got married in period. In fact, she seemed to have a tin ear for the whole thing. 24 Jun . And my own bed to everything I could about. At 69, Kay McDonald had to cope not only with the news that her daughter wasn't her own, but that another mother had known the whole time. That's how Mrs. Miller kept track of Sue over the years. (26 minutes). I just couldn't do it. IMDb is the world's most popular and authoritative source for movie, TV and celebrity content. It was a little surreal to hear her talk about it in this way, laughing like that, especially after hearing McDonald's side of things. Norbert and I had a good time while we were together, but. And we think so much alike. Over the years, the thought that she might be someone else's child festered in the back of his mind, and much later when she was in her mid 30s, she decided to get to the bottom of it. You know, to run a big radio station was not always the dream job that he wanted. Well, of course, we felt indebted to him for doing that. She also had an older brother, Bob, named after their dad. Here's Jake Halpern. "Dear Sue, I'm writing you this short note to officially give you my welcome to this Miller family and relationship.". She says there's Sue walking down the center aisle. So a bunch of people from the evangelical church now knew Kay MacDonald was and who she was and realized that this was the girl Mrs Miller, believed to be her own. She could have been my aunt or my mother talking on the phone. She had jokes every day. Find ratings and reviews for the newest movie and TV shows. And the moment he saw her, he knew that she was his biological daughter. What Kaye McDonald didn't know was that there was a whole slew of people in her church community who had heard about the rumored baby switch from the beginning, Mrs. Miller and Kay McDonald were actually in different churches. I just couldn't do it. Martha did not need glasses. Why the big concern about disgracing the doctor over, you know, having the wrong baby? Your service title . But they didn't notice any-- I don't know why they didn't notice it that Martha looked like them and was like them. We're devoting the full hour today to what happened to these two families. But your father, he's not a doctor. Did you have enough? People were definitely aware whenever both women were in the same room. I I didn't want I would just like that thing because that would ruin our marriage, I would run it. Ashin Sheen. The other daughter in this baby, Squidge Sue, who was born to Mrs. Miller, the one writing the letter but raised by Kay McDonnell. It's pretty rare that Marti and Sue actually meet face to face. Jake Halpern, he's the host of the new podcast Deep Cover, about an FBI agent who goes undercover with an outlaw motorcycle gang. And she kept it quiet all those years. He's just outright-- he's just saying, can you forgive me, just like that on the telephone? 754. Thanks, as always, to our program's co-founder Mr. Torey Malatia. I mean, she that was right. Kay McDonald and the Millers eventually reached a kind of detente. Stereo. His heart was elsewhere. Mary Miller is 96 now, she lives by herself in the country, her house is filled with the remnants of her and Norbert's life together in the church. Our senior producer for this episode is Julie Snyder. I told Mrs. Miller I felt that it was God's will, when she realized that she might not have the right child, I think it was His will that she do something about it. She was losing blood and having spasms. So she's excited about it. But Sue says there are a lot of things she missed out on, too, by not growing up with the Millers. And she would circle their names and say, these are your parents. She could have been my aunt or my mother talking on the phone. And then he told me that I looked like them and he said, What would you do if I told you that they were your parents? The five girls shared one bedroom. Marti wrote a letter to Kay and Bob McDonald, her biological parents. This American Life. You know, we opened up more to each other and, you know, we had the same personality and we think so much alike. It wasn't their place to bring up such a thing, especially with no way to know if it was true for sure, What that meant was that after Kay McDonald finally found out the truth in 1994, people started coming up to her, in church mostly, casually mentioning that they'd known about it all along. It exploded. No, no, no. But I kept looking for her and I was always asking anyone who might have seen her, and that day when I would go down, have any touch with the McDonald's, we we got introduced to them, I, I tried to talk to her about it and she she told somebody that I was crazy. And you can see, they're just having so much fun and laughing together and just dancing away. ", So she's basically saying to you, you may have actually gotten a break here being in the family that--. So then I just forgot about the whole thing. Here's Marty. The Millers were at the McDonald's anniversary party, their mutual acquaintances, they got a short drive from each other's houses and Waseca and Kurdish in Wisconsin. Transcript; Share; This American Life. They get together at Bob and McDonald's house didn't go exactly as she wanted. Likely one of the most complicated and crazy switched at birth cases is that of Kimberly Mays and Arlena Twigg who, in 1978, went home from the hospital with the wrong parents. It was the four women at the center of all this, the two moms and the two daughters, who were affected more than anyone. She worried her mother might reject her. All the Millers were invited and all the McDonalds were too. I just couldn't believe it. That's Martha reading. And Marti refused to believe it at that point. And they stay up till all hours of the night talking. Because that was terrible to have that hanging over you all of the time. My sister Faith called. Oscar-winning actress Marlee Matlin is back in the spotlight on ABC Family's "Switched at Birth," which will have its winter premiere on Tuesday. 42 years after the switch, Reverend Miller finally laid eyes on Sue at the McDonalds' wedding anniversary party. No, we didn't argue about that. But I had talked to several of our former pastors who knew about the situation and they assured me that this was not God's will. But it seemed futile trying to convince her husband Norbert. When I hear this episode now, what hits me honestly is how cunningly structured thing is where where you hear about the mom from all these other people before you ever hear from her and then how your picture of her changes once you actually hear her. And so that's why I started sending them a copy of our Christmas letter. He just has crazy ideas and he dreams these things up. Yes, definitely, at that point. When Sue got married, for instance, the Millers gave her a trivett Norbert had made the card was signed from your other possible parents. I was just not ever meeting their expectation of intellectual ism, and my mother has told me since then, you know, you I really didn't expect that much from you because I knew that you weren't our child. I'm Ira Glass. This American Life is a weekly public radio show, heard by 2.2 million people on more than 500 stations. I thought that was such a ridiculous thing to say. I don't know how I would have survived. She was working for a group of pediatricians, which included a genetic counselor. And I thought I was losing both of them. Was there ever a time when you thought back and thought, I should have stood my ground more with him on that? And is the reason because Marty brought something important to your family, you cheated. It's before kindergarten, so it's OK. Yeah. They understand why she didn't speak out sooner. Yeah, what was your room like? It was Matt Tierney, Nancy Updike and Diane Wu. A week or so after the baby's birth, I was reaching for something way back in the attic closet and started to hemorrhage, then went into convulsions. Right before the service began, she says, there's Sue walking down the center aisle. You know, that's a big consideration because Mrs. Miller didn't want to cross her husband. Mrs. Miller says she worries for Marti and Sue, about whether they'll ever truly get along. I don't know why they didn't notice that Marta looked like them and looks like them. The final episode of the Peabody-winning family drama ended things by looking back at how the series. And. But that didn't seem so strange. Tact is in her strong suit. She got along famously with their son, Bob. And I couldn't figure that out at the time. The one-hour teen and family drama series, Switched at Birth, which premiered on ABC Family on June 6, 2011 finally reversed that course (Lacob, 2011). There's a lot of nervous laughter and there are some awkward moments, like when Sue talks to Mrs. Miller about the fact that she never got enough breast milk as a baby. Today on our show, we hear what happens when somebody takes your family and throws it up in the air like a deck of cards. He is an evangelical preacher, you know, he wants people to know Jesus Christ and that they would be saved. Why the big concern about disgracing the doctor over, you know, having the wrong baby? They just didn't talk about these kinds of things. Marty calls Mrs. Miller once a week to check up on her, just like does now that the big family questions are mostly worked out. Our staff for today's show includes Alex Blumberg, Sarah Koenig, Seth Lind, Lisa Pollak, Robin Semien, Alissa Shipp, Matt Tierney, Nancy Updike, and Diane Wu. One of them was Darlene Wolfgram. But even she never divulged the secret to Bob or any of the McDonald's. And much later, when she was in her mid-30s, she decided to get to the bottom of it. And I'm thinking, how would I have survived with that kind of upbringing? She had given birth two years prior, to a girl. The counselor asked her what McDonald's knew about all this, and I said, I don't think they know anything about it, so. They have almost nothing in common. Is this your dad? Some time between five and 15 days ago. Jake Halpern is the reporter. Did you feel that then after this happened a little bit closer to your dad than your mom? S1 E2 - American Gothic The parents navigate the new living situation; Daphne hangs out with Liam. They are more like I am. And before we start, just to help you keep everybody straight in this story, a quick overview of the two families. That's what I was thinking. So instead of going in the hall and going, oh, it would probably register going in the front. And she said, oh, no, no. And I thought, she even walks like Mary. There is so much going on with the hospital switch, new boyfriends every week, friend drama, sport drama, parental drama, rebelling drama mixed in with occasional sign language use and . My brother and Marty are just like thick as thieves, you know, it seems like and whenever Marty comes to my home town, she stays with my brother and they stay up all hours of the night talking for to her brother's enthusiasm for Marty brought out every insecurity she suffered as a schoolgirl. calderdale council business grants. The TV series "Switched at Birth" aired on the Freeform network from 2011 to 2017. Perfectly clear that, you know, I was a mcdonnel for the longest time, whenever she would write to me, she would include MacDonald in my name. Sue now had four new sisters and two new brothers, and the Millers show her pictures of her other relatives. He finally did. S5 E5: Occupy Truth. And this whole crop of people knew, but never said anything to Kay McDonald. The next week, though, when Marti was visiting their mom, Mrs. Miller, she asked her about what Rudy had said. 43:45. I don't care whether my husband objected or not, I. I feel like I should have made it a wrong into a right. If I had as strong a feeling as she did that I had the wrong baby, I would have pursued it. No, no, no. She looked exactly like him. You know, she's part of that odd family, you know? And here I am. She's a very busy gal and I was not having that much communication with her. They were married for 60 years. It is one of the several identifiable characteristics of melodrama that are plot devices dealing with situations that are highly improbable in real life. Would make a good twin to her. It is based on the true story of Kimberly Mays and Arlena Twigg, babies switched soon after birth in a Florida hospital in 1978. And my own bed, too, everything. Often when strangers tell me about their favorite story on our show.